A lot of the allure of traveling to the UK was that we would finally be surrounded by English speakers again—we’d understand signage and finally be able to strike up casual conversation with strangers using more than a limited lexicon mostly related to transportation or how much things cost.
Maybe being in Slovakia for seven months has just programmed me to pry into other languages and mine for new vocabulary, but the Swedes we met in York taught me a few words that are not just a different way to say things I already knew, but new terms all together. At least one of them should be straight-up assimilated into all languages, or at least English.
Getting coffee, hanging out, sort-of-kind-of-on-a-date-but-not… I presume ever since the existence of public establishments where pairs of people could meet up and be served a hot drink (because getting hot drink in not the same as getting a pint or some kind of alcohol), the café or coffeehouse venue has been used as a dater-tester scoping ground. Maybe because it cultivates a causal atmosphere and there’s not a lot of pressure—I mean we’re just drinking tea, it’s totally harmless. You can do it any time of day (or even night) and the time commitment is left very open-ended. If you are not feeling the other person you can drain your latte or espresso shot quickly then say how nice it’s all been but you really have to get back to whatever it is you were doing. If however you find yourself on the same wavelength as this prospective, you can sit there and nurse a cup of chai for hours, or get that free refill on your simple cup of drip. You don’t have to stress out about looking smokin’ hot, and if you’re lucky, you will be sitting in giant overstuffed chairs or on sofas.
The trouble with “getting coffee” though is that the safety and neutrality of the above helps amplify the ambiguity of the social interaction—what if one person thinks it is just drinking coffee with someone instead of alone or with a crumpled newspaper, while the other is already anticipating where and when the next date will take place. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE!?
In Swedish, practically all of the above can be condensed into one [short] word: Fika.
While the term can also be used in a strictly platonic way and happen with pre-established friends or family, fika usually refers to this preliminary step in the dating process. Says Tomas, my Swedish source, “you’re checking it out, but you’re still not sure.” So while you try to get more sure you sip on a hot chocolate, or even a smoothie (I asked if fika was strictly confined to caffeinated beverages, he said it’s not), and there’s probably cookies or something involved too.
On my last day in Edinburgh I sat in a café flipping through a Scottish newspaper and soaking up the atmosphere with the good music, the good coffee, the English…for the last time in a while. Not that I was eavesdropping, but I overheard one of the women who worked there saying, “So he invited me out for coffee—what does that mean? I’m like, seriously, I work in a coffee shop and you want to go out for coffee?” I just had to chuckle. Clearly this guy was trying to initiate something, but like most of us non-Swedish speakers he just didn’t have the right box in his brain or word to concisely express his intentions which are most simply to see about dating her.
He needs fika. He needs a word and concept that will actually support his case, and not just make him look like an unobservant space-cadet. We all need fika. I’m still not exactly sure how the word is used—do you go to fika, have a fika, make fika—just fika? But until I figure out how exactly to use the word I’ll at least know when.
* the photos are of the Swedish (and Japanese guy) we met, some example of potential fika fare but in a friend not dater way, and just some pictures I figured I'd post while I had the space.
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